Dear Authors, I'm Sorry: Confessions of an Editor-Turned-Writer

By Sarah Knight

During my fifteen years as a book editor for major publishing houses, I made a number of observations about the behavioral patterns of authors. These observations led me to conclude that most of those authors were special little snowflakes at risk of melting if I so much as looked at them funny — let alone failed to include at least three paragraphs of glowing praise in my editorial letter before launching into the actual, you know, edits.

I have seen the error of my ways.

This summer, I wrote my book proposal for The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck. I received a round of comments from my agent and sent the revision back to her in twenty-four hours. I vividly remember the appraising look she gave me from across her glossy 5th Avenue desk and her comment: “God, I love working with professionals.”

That was the first and last time that I felt snug — and smug — in the knowledge that I, a professional book editor, was totally going to kill it as an author.

Not only was I going to write a hysterically funny, brilliant parody of a bestselling Japanese tidying guide, I was going to sail through the publication process without any of the anxieties, insecurities, last-minute changes, cover art hemming/hawing, or obsessive Amazon-rank-refreshing exhibited by my authors over the years.

Instead, I wrote a hysterically funny, brilliant parody of a bestselling Japanese tidying guide and fell victim to all of the above, and then some. But hey, I’m a grown-ass adult, and I know when to say I’m sorry.

Here goes…

Dear Authors,

I’M SORRY for suspecting some of you of leaving little typos on random manuscript pages just to see if I was paying attention. I used to think it was impossible to make so many typos in a 300-page document, so you must have been fucking with me — but now I realize you were so gacked out on caffeine and sleep-deprivation by the time you handed it in, that you probably really thought “different” was spelled “fidderent.”

I’M SORRY for being annoyed when you “checked in” just to make sure I “got the file” less than forty-eight hours after you sent it, when twenty-four of those hours comprised “Sunday” and another eight, “sleeping.” If, like me, you told your editor (who would also be me, in this scenario) that you “weren’t too eager for feedback yet” or to “take as long as you need — I just want it off my desk!” what you really meant was “Every minute that passes that I don’t hear a kind word from you, I will assume that you and my agent are on a call deciding who will be the one to break it to me that everything is shit.”

I’M SORRY for wanting to reach through the phone and bonk you on the nose like one might a recalcitrant cat when you kept asking me how many more days — nay, hours (oh let’s be honest, minutes) — you’d still have to make final changes before the book went to print. Don’t you want to be done with this thing??? I would fume incredulously, predicting [correctly] that you’d ask for more time no matter what my answer. Only now do I know that peculiar fear of waking up from a day-after-deadline fever dream with the PERFECT addition to the end of chapter four (or in my case, an improvement to a Nick Nolte joke), and not being able to make it.

I’M SORRY that I ever expected you to be able to approve your cover art and then not second guess yourself — and the motivations of your editor, publisher, and art director in “pushing” this design on you — and then email hours later to rescind said approval and ask for more changes. (I may or may not have submitted an innocent query to my editor about “bumping up” the shade of red in my title font the day after I approved the art.)

I’M SORRY for rolling my eyes every time you emailed me excitedly about your Amazon ranking having gone from 655,782 to 655,001 and also asking me if I knew why it had done so. Here is the actual text of an email I sent to my editor and agent several weeks ago:

Date: October 15, 2015 

Subject: It has begun

Last night I looked at my Amazon page to post something funny about my ranking (182 in Humor/Self-Help & Psychology). Then this morning I checked again and it was up to 54. I now see how this can be addictive.

I’M SORRY that I told you to feel free to stet as many of the copyeditor’s comments as you wanted, without also warning you that going through your copyedited manuscript would feel not unlike being slowly debrided of burn wounds over 80% of your body by a spastic toddler wielding an old toothbrush.

Without anesthesia.

AND I’M SORRY that when you emailed me in a panic about missing a deadline because your computer died or your postman dropped the first pass pages in a puddle or your daughter had to go to the E.R. or your house was hit by a tornado, I didn’t believe you for one goddamn second. I am sorry about this because, on the eve of the deadline for turning in my final corrections, my printer literally ate my manuscript. Half the words were missing from the pages; the other half were mysteriously bolded.

Knowing as I do the standard reaction of an editor to this sort of late-game tomfoolery, I actually sent mine a photograph of one of the affected pages, along with a request for a new set printed at Little, Brown and Company and messengered to my apartment the next day. Then I thought about how, if one of my authors had sent me a photo of her house destroyed by a tornado and asked for an extra day with the manuscript, I would have assumed she’d spent three hours learning the ins and outs of Photoshop just to score a reprieve on her due date.

(I would therefore also forgive my editor for assuming that this entire essay was concocted to give further credence to the above scenario.)

Love, Sarah

Sarah Knight is the author of The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck (Little, Brown /Dec ‘15), a freelance editor, and writer at www.sarahknightbooks.com.

This article was original posted on Medium.

Guest Post: 5 Lessons Learned from Ghostwriting Memoirs

by Heather Hummel

One of the first statistics I heard when I started ghostwriting over a decade ago was that 80 percent of people want to write a book, and no doubt most of them are referring to writing their memoir. I can say that the same 80 percent applies to the types of books I ghost for clients—memoirs in one form or another.

Among the books I've written for philanthropists, corporations, and public figures, each of my clients have striven to achieve one goal: sharing their story in order to benefit others. Whether that is done in a traditional memoir or a prescriptive self-help book, there are many ways to approach these projects to ensure the best experience and outcome for all involved.

Here are five lessons I've learned along the way:

1. Leave Your Personal Agenda at the Door
This is a critical requirement of ghosting. It doesn't mean the ghostwriter shouldn't offer advice, but at the end of the day it's the client's message, not any agenda of the ghostwriter, that should shine through.

Along the same lines, I believe that a particular ghost can be too close to a topic. For example, a book about raising a child with autism might be better served by a ghostwriter who doesn't have a family member with that particular condition. Otherwise, either consciously or subconsciously, the ghost might end up drawing too much from his or her own experience, thereby clouding the client's message, which might come out of very different experiences. A ghost who hasn't contended with that specific issue, but is empathic and open to understanding what the client wants to express, is likely to write a comparatively more genuine book.

2. Determine Your Client's Engagement Level
An important conversation to have at the onset of the project has to do with the amount of involvement the client will assume. Some clients want their ghost to take the pen and just run with it, whereas others want to be more hands-on each step of the way. Knowing what kind of commitment to expect from your client will help you assess how to structure the work you do together.

But even for the most hands-off clients, a ghostwriting project is still a team effort: the ghost needs information to work with, as well as feedback on the work that's been done. Make sure your client understands this before you get started!

3. Keep the Project Moving
Because ghosting a book can take six months to a year to complete, one of the most important tasks for the ghostwriter is to keep your client engaged and energized. My remedy for this is to set many small deadlines. Agree on the date by which you'll have each chapter to your client, and then a deadline for the client to respond with feedback. This will keep the project constantly moving forward.

4. Know How to Combat Cold Feet
J.K. Rowling once said, "The idea of wondering off to a café with a notebook and writing and seeing where that takes me for a while is just bliss." When I heard this, I thought about those people who want to write a book, and how they must all envision themselves sitting in cafés journaling what will become their message to the masses. Although such a large number of people want to pen their memoirs, more often than not, and at some point in the process, the romantic appeal of sharing one's life publicly is replaced with cold feet when reality sets in. Time and time again, a client's cold feet will be exposed—sometimes one toe at a time, sometimes all ten at once.

It's imperative to have a conversation with your client about the "cold feet" factor at the start of the project—before fear sets in and overrides excitement. Discuss the fact that these feelings may come and are perfectly normal, and that the client is in complete control of how much of the story is divulged, and in what way.

4. Keep Very Good Records
This may seem like common sense, but it's an important lesson that bears emphasizing. It's crucial to keep clear, detailed records of every interaction you have with your client, from e-mail and phone correspondence to each draft incarnation of the manuscript. This practice will serve you in many ways.

Say, for example, that halfway through the project, the client changes his or her mind about the scope of a book. Naturally, the new scope may actually benefit the book—it's normal to have breakthrough ideas during the writing process. But this could also require a reassessment of the contract and the client's fiscal responsibilities to you, especially if you have already allotted considerable time to the project. Having documentation to compare what was originally agreed upon to what is now being asked will help greatly.

To give another example: I won a court case against a client who was in breach of contract, and I credit my win, in large part, to the fact that I had saved every single text message over our year-long working relationship. After combing through hundreds of texts, my lawyer found one that gave ample evidence that the client's in-court argument was a lie.


Heather Hummel has ghostwritten more than a dozen books for a diverse array of clients, including philanthropists, corporations, politicians, realtors, and public figures. Heather is also a featured blogger for the Huffington Post and a land- and seascape photographer, represented by Agora Gallery in New York. A graduate with high distinction from the University of Virginia, Heather holds a Bachelor of Interdisciplinary Studies degree with concentrations in English and Secondary Education.

Guest post: End Procrastination Now!

by Arielle Eckstut, one half of the Book Doctors

This past August, we had the honor of attending a conference hosted by behavioral economist and bestselling author Dan Ariely. He studies why human beings make the predictably irrational decisions that they do.

Dan invited a number of writers to the conference because he contends that behavioral economics is often best elucidated through stories. And through Dan’s own stories, we learned so much about the ridiculous decisions we make as writers—as well as how we can become more productive by putting into practice the principles he teaches.

Over and over, we talk to writers with great ideas for books. But these very creative people just can't seem to finish writing them. If we say it once, we say it a bazillion times: In order to get successfully published, you have to actually write. To do so, here are three principles of behavioral economics that will help slay the procrastination beast:

1. Set real, concrete, achievable deadlines and schedules. Instead of saying you're going to write three days a week, actually name the days—Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, for instance. This way, you don’t get to say, “Oh, I’ll just do this tomorrow.” Map out a draft of your book in your calendar, not just in your head. Put in deadlines, along with reminders of those deadlines.
2. Find a buddy (or buddies.) Join a writer’s group or seek out a partner, and check in with each other to make sure you meet your deadlines. For example, Arielle and her dear friend Laura Schenone were both working under tight deadlines to finish their books this summer. They were struggling. Then they made a pact: They would both write 500 words a day and then email their word count to each other at the end of each day. It was amazing what this simple social motivation achieved! The knowledge that they would have to check in with someone else produced enormous traction. Day after day after day, they wrote their 500 words. And even when they didn’t get to 500, they did write something—which was a hell of a lot more than they had been doing previously.
3. Reward yourself, whether negatively or positively. For example, if you finish a week’s worth of reaching your word count, arrange for a romantic date with your loved one, or a relaxing evening on your favorite golf course, or buy yourself that fancy doodad you’ve been craving. Or you could go the other way: Set up an account with a charity you hate, and if you don't meet your goals, send them $50.  Losing something valuable to someone you hate turns out to be a great incentive!

Do you have other great tips to end procrastination? Share them in the comments.

Business Wisdom from the Business Ghost

Earlier this week we were privileged to have premier ghostwriter Michael Levin (aka the Business Ghost) give a dynamite presentation at our offices on a topic that’s on the minds of nearly all writers-for-hire today: How do you market yourself in a way that will land you high-paying work from high-profile clients?

The key takeaway: Your mindset matters most. You are not just a writer, Levin told the packed room of writers from the GG network; you’re an entrepreneur who runs a business specializing in writing. Deal with your fear, and stop being halfhearted with your self-marketing. Value your skills properly, and ask for what you’re worth. It’s the only way you’re going to get it.

Once you’ve got the right attitudinal bearings, Levin said, there are a number of basic sales and marketing techniques that writers can leverage to generate more productive leads and land more rewarding deals. Here’s some of the top tips and tricks Levin shared:

Cold-calling works
Keep your pitch simple: “Hi, my name is Michael Levin of Business Ghost, and I specialize in writing books for people of your stature. I don’t know if you’ve ever considered writing a book, but if you’re interested, I’d love to talk to you about working together.” Pique their curiosity—no one uses the telephone anymore—and appeal to their ego. Many writers worry that cold-calling is bothersome, but you’re not bothering someone if you’re solving a problem for them.

Don’t be afraid of gatekeepers
Secretaries, assistants, and other gatekeepers are benign dictators—if you’re nice to them. They respond, like anyone, to respect and kindness. (Of course, you could also make a habit of calling at 8 am, before the gatekeeper gets to work.)

Get over your fear
Be confident! The more you push on “no,” the more the client will push on “yes.” You have to act like you’ve got a winning lottery ticket in your pocket, meaning you could take this job or leave it. Use a line like: “I’m very fortunate to be busy with other projects, but I can usually make room in my schedule when something exciting comes along.”

It doesn’t matter if you’re less experienced in the subject matter
Tell the client, “My credentials as a writer are more important than my knowledge of your industry.” The client is the one who knows his or her subject matter; you’re being hired on the strength of your writing skill.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve never written a book before
There are many ways to get paid for your first book. You could write for a percentage of the back-end (with clearly defined metrics), for example, or you could get paid on a per-chapter basis. You’ll certainly charge less than market rate, so position it like this: “I’m buying market share in my future, and you’re lucky enough to be getting a great deal on a fantastic writer.” Michael suggests charging $15 to $20k for your first book, and increase your rates with each subsequent project.

It’s not a vanity project
Many clients get nervous about self-publishing a book, because they don’t want it to look like an ego-driven idea. Michael has a great essay on his website called “But Isn’t It a Vanity Book?” that answers this question. In short: a vanity project is all about stroking the ego, whereas a self-published book is about providing a service. Tell the client that it’s her duty to share her acquired knowledge with the world.

Don’t be so smart
To be smarter than the client is stupid. Channel seventies TV detective Columbo, and use what you don’t know to keep the client talking. In addition, don’t be tricked into giving away all your secrets for free in an initial interview. Clients will flatter you to inflate your ego and keep you talking—which is the same thing you should be doing to them.

Set up your next session
At the beginning of your first meeting with a client, explain that you’re going to give him a lot to think about, and that you’d like to schedule your next meeting or next step now. That prevents you from leaving with nothing but a weak promise of “I’ll be in touch.”


Want to hear more from Michael? Check out his Business Ghost website and follow him on Twitter at @Business_Ghost.


Michael, a New York Times–bestselling author, has built one of preeminent ghostwriting practices in the country. His company, Business Ghost, has produced more than 100 ghostwritten and co-written books, of which eight have been national bestsellers. He also appeared on ABC's hot reality show Shark Tank, and his episode will re-run tonight, May 25th, at 8pm.