The Skinny on Oscar's New Skinniness

For you Oscar speech geeks, Vanity Fair provides a handy breakdown of the changes the show's producers have made this year to slim down the acceptance speeches and the rest of the program.  The most noticeable adjustment: a ban on the droning "thank yous" that have become a regrettable staple of the show.

Here's how VF explains it: "Instead of having weepy Oscar winners recite grocery lists of thanks to everyone from their personal trainer to their backup mailman while forgetting their husbands (don’t worry, Hilary Swank, I’m sure your now ex-husband Chad forgave you), Oscar’s heartless new producers have instructed winners to prepare two speeches: one expressing how much the Oscars mean to them, and another in which they can thank whoever they want backstage for a video that will be consigned to the black hole known as the Internet. Thou shalt worship no god but the Academy."

P.S.  Vanity Fair also has posted a mildly funny spoof of the acceptance speech "Avatar" director James Cameron is preparing —a faux "early draft" that mocks Cameron's infamous King of the World claim and dings George Clooney.  With all due respect, our Jokewriters could have done a heckuva lot better.  Seriously, is"True Lies" anywhere near as parody-rich as "Terminator"?